Sunflower County has produced yet another literary contributor, this time author Charmin Sharice introduces her self-proclaimed tell-all book that tells of her life traumas and struggles being victimized at an early age while growing up in the rural Mississippi Delta.
In her book, Depths of Temptation, Sharice talks about being molested as a child, her sex addiction and her struggles with bipolar disorder that resulted in her needing counseling and medication.
The book’s back cover describes her as a backroad country girl from the Mississippi Delta who encountered molestation that was swept under the rug, but birthed feelings of neglect, rejection and sexual appetite that was too mature for her immature body and mind.
It further acknowledges that her survival and healing was predicated upon her finally receiving counseling and putting her feelings down.
The opening chapter describes Sharice’s experiences with a sex addition group counseling session and a one-on-one sitting with the sex addiction counselor. The former Ruleville resident said she had been praying for help and spotted a flyer that she presumed to be in response to those entreatings because she had asked God for a sign.
She was born on Dockery plantation and spent her formative years there, but moved to Ruleville at the age of seven. Her mother married and according to Sharice, her stepfather molested her.
“I have dreams about it, about me, my childhood, how I grew up that somebody took my innocence,” she said.
Although she believes in the power of prayer, Sharice said that as a child she did spend some time in church, but it wasn't a constant thing.
“I went to church with my godmother. That kind of helped out a little bit, she knew what I was going through, but she didn't tell nobody because I didn't want nobody to know."
Sharice said although she was still living with her mother, she spent a great deal of time at her godmother's house. When queried about why she didn't let her mother know what was going on, Sharice said, “I can't answer that myself. I don't know. I didn't want her to be mad at me."
Sharice also acknowledged that it was her mother's first marriage. "I didn't want to feel like I was the one who broke her marriage up, " she added.
Even then, Sharice said she would write a lot of things out on paper. “About how I want to kill myself, and I don't want to be here no more; I used to write all of that stuff down on paper."
However, she would then hide the paper. “Because I didn't want nobody to find it. I was scared; I was scared to tell. I didn't know how to reach out, so the only person I told was my godmama,” Sharice admitted.
She said her mother did leave the stepfather once she finally told her what was going on.
Her family lived in Ruleville, and she attended school there; but she dropped out of high school in the 10th grade after becoming pregnant with her first child in 1999. "I was having problems with my first daughter's father because he didn't want to admit that the child was his, so we had to go through a DNA test to prove that she was his child," Sharice said.
She made an attempt to acquire her GED, but her first attempt was unsuccessful. “I missed it by one point,” she said. It would be almost 10 years later before she would try again and succeed.
Relocating to Memphis in 2004, she met a man who became the father of her second child, who was born in 2005. Sharice also suffered the loss of her grandmother that year; she had lived with her for a while early on.
Regarding her Memphis and later experiences, Sharice shared, "I was just working different jobs; I had started doing a little modeling for this guy out of Memphis, I did that for about five years so in between time I was modeling and working and taking care of my kids," she said.
Adding to her life’s dilemmas was a couple of miscarriages; heartbreak and disappointment from a bad relationship and needing someone to talk to about all of it, but the person she wanted to talk to was not willing to listen. "He took me through hell and back. He was like, ‘I don't want to hear that, you need to go see a counselor,’ so that's what I did," Sharice said.
She said, “I went through counseling, the counseling didn't help." Sharice had access to a counseling service through her employer at the time; however, that person referred her to someone else, but that didn't work out because she did not have insurance to cover the cost.
"So I was stuck, I sat out in the parking lot and I cried and I prayed because this man had did me wrong. I had two miscarriages dealing with him and he left me for another woman," she said.
Then, to further add to the overwhelming weight of her situation, she said her love interest married the other woman and they had two children together. "It took me two to three years to even get over that relationship," she said.
Putting pen to paper was her go-to. “I always have been a writer, so I decided to start writing a book to get over what I was going through and it actually helped. The book actually helped me get through what I was going through with the molestation thing,” Sharice said.
“I go through so much; I suffer from bipolar disorder, which has my mind going everywhere, so I have to take medication for that. I've been going through this thing; it comes and goes,” said Sharice.
Her book, which is her first distributed work, is self-published. She apparently reached out to a Christian publishing company, but according to her, because of the nature of the material in the book they opted not to publish it.
However, they did assist with editing it and walking her through the process of getting it distributed so her rights and earnings would be protected. "The publishing I had to do on my own, because I had a lot of raunchy stuff in the book, so they couldn't publish it," Sharice said.
Sharice is convinced that she is living out a foretelling spoken to her by one of her past co-workers. "She just walked up to me and was like, 'you know this your season.' She said ‘you're supposed to have been a millionaire, but you have been procrastinating."’
Sharice called it a reiteration of what other prophets had told her, which was that she is a healer and the only way she can be who she is called to be is to study her Bible more and pray. "She said God wants me to pray for people and heal them," Sharice said.
She has a book-signing planned for February 2022 in Ruleville and in addition to working on a second book—Make It Last—the novice novelist has another project in the works. “I am also working on a documentary for women who have been molested and abused by men—it can be for men and women," she said.
Sharice said the best advice she can give to other women is, “Talk to someone about your problems, don't hold that stuff in because that stuff can cause all types of damage. Some people kill themselves; it's good to release that and talk to somebody about it, talk to somebody.”
She cautions to just make sure it is a close friend and someone you can trust. She added, “I feel like I should have went to my mom and talked to her sooner, because I wouldn't have went through as long as I did."
