Becoming a student of your marriage


How do you have a successful marriage?

This is a question that I have heard in many different forms, especially for couples who have reached the 3 year mark.

That’s around the time where the honeymoon phase has completely worn off and there seems to be a bit of friction because you two are trying to grow into one.

For the wife, it used to be cute when her husband of a few months didn’t pick up his socks after getting in from work, but now, it’s just plain annoying!

For the husband, it was so sweet when his wife of a few months would come in and interrupt the football game to spend quality time with him, but now, he just wants to enjoy the game without interruption.

Why do these changes take place?

The changes come about when the two of you are learning how to mesh with each other.

This can be a very confusing process if you are still learning one another, which by the way, never stops! You have to become students of your marriage.

That’s right, you have to study your spouse and find out who they really are.

You are still two completely different individuals, who may have things in common, but yet you are still different and those differences that God deposited on the inside of you are the very things that make you so special.

The key is to learn what those differences are and celebrate them in your spouse.

One of the things that used to really annoy me was how detailed my wife was.

I didn’t know at the time, but this was just my wife operating in her God given gift.

I remember one day, I became so annoyed that I began to study my wife’s calling.

That’s right. I knew my wife had a calling on her life and myself as well.

It is important to know your spouse’s contribution to this world. If you don’t know what that is, how can you do the job that has been given to you as supporter to your spouse as they walk in their gift?

As I was studying my wife’s gift as a teacher, it made more sense to me why she was so detailed. When I say teacher, I’m not just speaking of a school teacher.

My wife has the God given ability to learn anything and then teach it, first and foremost, the word of God. Her ability to be so detailed is what makes her such a great teacher ...and there I was being annoyed at her gift.

I learned to appreciate her gift and instead of being annoyed by it, I began to be in awe of it. This is an example of being a student of your marriage. Yes, you actually have to pay attention to your spouse and study some things out.

Once you have become a student of your marriage, you begin to find out more things about each other and this is where the fun starts.

I had a lot of success in trying something that my wife enjoyed doing.

This doesn’t mean that you have to like it, but it gives you more insight to the person that your spouse is.

You develop a deeper understanding as to why your spouse does, says, or even thinks the way they do. I will continue on next week about more insight into the male and the female brain and how they function within marriage but for now, become a student of your marriage.

Start by studying each other and enjoying the differences in each other that make you who you are, after all, that’s who you fell in love with! God bless you.


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