“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” Emily Post, American author, famous for writing about etiquette.
Good manners can get you everywhere and this holiday season I saw the best and worst of manners in almost every place I went, including my own home.
Hats off to all of the employees at our local Walmart.
They were kind and helpful and not once did I get the glare for having too many items in the “less than 20 items” line.
I did get the business from the person behind me, even after I offered to let her go ahead of me, which she did, but I let it go and told her, “Have a swell Christmas!”
She gave me the finger.
In Greenville I pulled up in front of a very nice store that sells very expensive gifts to pick up a book that had been signed and wrapped.
The store is actually an old house with no parking lot, just a dirt driveway that was full of muddy ruts that I was trying to avoid.
As soon as I found a dry spot and stepped out of my car, a truck with large tires wheeled up right next to me, hitting the mud-filled rut I had so carefully avoided, totally covering ME in the mud.
I could not even see who he was because my sunglasses were glazed in the gumbo-mud!
I just stood there, mortified as I heard the front door of the store slam, and he never looked back!
“Hmm, should I clean my glasses or slash his tires first?” I thought to myself.
Obviously I am not a tire-slasher, but I fully intended to wait him out.
Before I could even find something to try and clean myself up, he was tossing his purchases in the truck and pulling out, spraying me once again.
He put his truck in drive, rolled the window down, and said “Oops!”, and off he went.
I could not even think of words bad enough to yell or even the correct finger obscenity that would make me feel better.
I mumbled a great deal of bad things to myself and went back home to regroup and get the mud out of my hair.
I could have tracked him down, I could have followed him, I could have gone in that nice store and tracked icky mud all over the place and told those expensive shop girls just what he had done!
After that I could have called his wife and told her what a rude slob she had married.
I have found that in most cases when you retaliate, even if you are in the right, it does not make you feel one bit better.
The test of good manners is to be patient with the bad ones.
Even in my own house this year there was a slight lack of consideration, or maybe common sense; either way it got under my skin.
Plans changed a dozen times.
Children came and left. Then they came back and stayed.
I made gallons of Chai-Infused White Russians in cool bottles for the neighbors and I think three of them actually got one.
Did I drink all of it?
It’s possible but I think not.
I did notice the rest of the family was pretty giddy when they were actually here. Is there a limit to how many times you can reheat seafood gumbo?
Too many family members were trying to get to too many places and forgetting to be gracious and thankful for the short amount of time that we did have together during Christmas, although at times I felt like the holidays would never be over!
I thought of my mother a great deal during the holidays.
She was one of those people that radiated a gracious spirit, made everyone around her feel like they were the most important person at that moment, and people loved being around her.
She was delighted when we showed up and most likely delighted when we left.
My sisters and I laughed this week about all of the different family comings and goings, the no-shows and the things that would not leave.
We remembered what my mother had said for years about New Year’s Day.
She would call all of us and say, “I’m cooking peas, spoon bread, and ham if anyone wants to come over!”
Instead of making us commit to plans that may or may not have actually happened, she was letting us know that she was cooking and we could come or not. No guilt, no hard feelings, no hurries, and no plans.
However, you would miss some great peas and cornbread if you did not show up.
Plus a heaping dose of bad luck.
