“Justice is not blind, and she wears stilettos.” Camryn King, American fiction writer.
A long time ago, so very long ago that I am not sure when the saga began, we decided to rip the insides out of our home and put new ones back in. This process took on a life of its own that could kill some couples, or show them what they are made of.
Neither one of us had a “fight to the death” attitude over faucets and door knobs; compromise became an important skill that Dr. Pal learned to master. I learned to live with all sorts of men in and out of the house, sheetrock in between my teeth and highway food for supper every night.
Looks go right out the front door when you have one working bathroom and someone is always in it. All the good clothes got packed up in a room behind dishes and furniture and I was left with a pair of banana yellow running shorts and a lime green t-shirt with a pink skull and crossbones on the front. This became my uniform so I tried to stay outside or on my porch as much as possible in order to not frighten anyone. I had flower beds to dig, a garden to plant and an ongoing war to fight for the kingdom of the bird feeder between me and a few squirrels. It was 99 degrees by 9 a.m., so you get the picture. I was a dirty, sweaty mess everyday and I wanted my own nail gun for various reasons.
One morning Dr. Pal said to me, “I don’t think you should wear those shorts while you are working in the garden. The construction guys are ogling you, I mean I think they possibly are. Maybe wear something more conservative...”
I did not even let him finish that sentence as I felt my fabulous self coming unglued. “Ogling me?” “Did you say ogling me?” I barked. “Those hairy Neanderthals look better than I do and you are asking ME to go and change my clothes? Have you lost your mind? Are you certain about this because those boys are in MY kitchen construction zone, and you are allowing ogling in my zone!” I screeched.
My voice had moved into high-pitched, whisper-yell by now and Dr. Pal was slowly moving towards the door.
“Well, no actually, I just know how guys are and...”
I did not let him finish that sentence either.
“You march right in to that kitchen construction zone and beat every single one of them with a rubber hose! I did not give anyone permission to ogle my fabulous, sweaty self, and you need to go and take care of business! Does no one listen to the news? Have any of you boys been watching television? The #metoo movement is a pretty big deal right now and “you boys” are getting called out left and right from coast to coast!” I squeaky-barked.
I felt like I had just whipped Dr. Pal with a rubber hose as he skulked out of the room muttering a very weak, “I’m sorry, you look just fine, see ya!”
“Woof!” I said to my sweaty self.
I feel certain I was not being eyeballed by anyone, although I had to view a few sights that I cannot unsee from workers bent over or crouched under an appliance.
I am happy that the #metoo movement spread across the country and I feel sorry for every victim that is out there. Men can be bullies and cowards instead of being men and every mother and father should teach their young boys the difference between a wolf whistle and the abuse of a bully.
The saga of the house is rather long so I think next week we will talk about the demise of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and who won that battle.
Through it all I think I grilled one time, and this is my go-to meal for company or just when we are starving for real food.
Grilled Bone-In Pork Chops with Uncle Barney Sauce
2, 1 1/2-inch bone-in pork chops (have the butcher cut them for you)
1 sweet onion, sliced thick
1 stick butter
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
3 cloves crushed garlic
10 oz Worcestershire sauce
10 ounces soy sauce
1/4 cup Dales Sauce
Juice of 4 lemons plus the rinds of 2 lemons
1 teaspoon dry mustard
2 tablespoons lemon pepper
Salt and pepper to taste
Pat the pork chops dry and place in a glass bowl with the sliced onions. In a small sauce pan melt the butter and the olive oil together and add the garlic. Simmer just until you begin to smell the garlic, then add the remaining ingredients. Simmer for 15 minutes on low heat and remove the lemon rinds. Let the mixture cool. Pour about half of the sauce over the chops and onions and let marinate for 30 minutes to overnight. When ready to cook, heat the grill to high heat. Add the chops and onions and cook until the inside meat registers 140 degrees, turning the chops once. Remove the chops and onions from the grill and serve with the remaining sauce.