Although the month of October is typically set aside as national Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Moorhead Police Chief Bobby Walker decided not to wait until then to bring some focus and attention to the topic.
Walker and his department sponsored an awareness event on June 6 in Moorhead that was designed to educate the public, showcase some of the resources available to the victims and survivors, and address how domestic violence cases are handled by law enforcement and the courts.
The evening’s keynote speakers were Yolanda Turner Evans, a victim and survivor of domestic assaults and her daughter, Evelyn Smith, who was also marred by the heinous acts of their attacker.
Evans and Smith shared their story and talked about the defining moment in their struggle that culminated in a near death experience. Evans said she had been victimized by him before, but was assured by one of his family members that he was out of the state and no longer a threat.
Her former companion hid in her home one night, accosted her and her teenage daughter, struck them on the leg with an iron pipe, made them strip of their clothing and kidnapped them.
The man, who she said was apparently under the influence at the time, forced them into her car where he reportedly drove them to the home of his drug dealer.
Evans said she told her then 15-year-old daughter to lean back and get down as low as she could in the vehicle and cover her nakedness with a newspaper that was in the car.
According to Evans the man was unable to get any drugs because she suspects the dealer saw the two of them hunkered down in the car and thought it was a setup.
He then drove them to a dark deserted turn row just outside of Belzoni off MS-12. Evans said her assailant accused her of cheating on him, which she wasn’t, and then stabbed her in the leg with a knife. “I could feel it coming out of my leg,” she said.
Evans said he then grabbed her hair, took the knife, cut off her ponytail and set her head on fire. After that, he announced that he had previously purchased clothes for her daughter and now he wanted her (the daughter) to “pay” him for them.
Evans said, as any mother would, she pleaded with him and attempted to dissuade his advances and attention away from her daughter, even to the point of offering herself to spare her child, but her petitions were to no avail.
She began to sob as she continued, “But somebody in here needs to hear this.”
“I said she don’t work and she can’t pay you.” She told the group that she offered herself to do anything to “pay” the perceived debt in order to spare her daughter. “I acted like a hooker that night for him not to rape my baby, but when Satan is in your face, and he’s looking at you… This man told me he had sold his soul to the devil to get to me, couldn’t nothing stop him from his mission.”
At that point, Smith assumed the podium and began to share from a child’s perspective. She told how she thought of this man as a father figure and he supposedly considered her as his daughter.
Smith said during the ordeal she clung to her mother and questioned why this man, who considered her as his own, was “filling my life with so much pain?” Smith said she wondered what they had done to make him so angry that he wanted to ruin their lives forever.
The teenager, now turned adult, cautioned parents. “Please pay attention to who we have around our kids, because everybody that say they love you don’t really love you.” As it turns out, the person who victimized them was himself a victim of domestic violence.
The honorable Judge Kuykendal Murry shared information with the audience on the two types of domestic violence charges, the penalties associated with each, the court and hearing process and the bonding guidelines. Repeat offenders can receive a considerable amount of jail time, up to 30 years, especially if felony charges are levied.
After the second misdemeanor offense, the crime automatically becomes a felony. The charges can be brought either by the victim or state law allows an officer to press charges if he sees visible signs of assault.
Dilworth Rick, Our House Inc, was there to contribute with regards to the educational and resources aspects of the seminar. She stressed that domestic violence and sexual assault don’t discriminate, they affect all genders and races. “It happens to everybody. It happens to men too,” she said.
Rick expanded on the nature of the crime and described it as having “the person that you once loved and laid with and had children by that person (ending) up becoming one of your worst enemies.” She talked about the different levels of the violent acts and how much the victim has likely gone through before they actually decide to pick up the phone and call for help.
She directed a portion of her discourse to the law enforcement officers present in order to help them understand that when they arrive at the victim’s door and attempt to persuade them to file charges on their tormenter that person is faced with some tough decisions.
Rick emphasized that the victim has been conditioned and is more afraid of the person that is in the home with them than the officer that is voicing that they are there to protect them. “Because (there) is only so far that protection can go, even the best of efforts,” Rick admitted.
She said a protection order is only a piece of paper and is ineffective against a person who is determined to get at a victim. She said, “A fool don’t care what paper is before them.” Rick advised the listeners not to wait until things get out of control before they seek help.
She pointed out that Our House has support groups, therapists and emergency housing plus a hotline and invited them to dial 662-334-LOVE to initiate help. All of the assistance is free to the victim. They even provide a behavioral modification program for the batterer that has a fee associated with it.
Subsequent to her presentation, Chief Walker emphasized the importance of the victims taking a part in assisting the law enforcement by reporting when a protection order has been violated. “When you see that person coming around and you know they are not supposed to be within 100 yards of you, you have to pick up the phone and call the police. If we don’t know, we can’t help you,” Walker said.
Police Investigator Sherry Gates stressed that victims should not be afraid to reach out to the police for help. “They can come in person, they can call, they can send a note (or) any way they can get it to us. We just want to reach out to help them,” she said.
Gates insists that domestic violence takes place in every community and the small town of Moorhead is no exception. She said, “We get a lot of reports for domestic violence. There’s somebody that needs help everyday… every day.”
According to her, the motives for the violence vary and can be sparked by unfaithful activities among partners or perceived adulterous behavior, child custody battles or possessions such as vehicles and houses. “Things you wouldn’t imagine sometimes,” she added.
Gates said she would like to see an end to domestic violence, but realistically doesn’t expect that to happen. “We can slow it down and we’re trying to reach out to anybody who can help to cut it down as much as possible.”
The first Domestic Violence Awareness Month was observed in October 1987, and three themes remain a key focus; mourning those who have died because of domestic violence; celebrating those who have survived; and connecting those who work to end violence.
