Hey, Black Friday, Cyber Monday and the rest of y’all. I’d like access back to my email and texts, please and thank you. It seems that in early November, every store I’ve thought of, perused in person, or on the world wide web barges into my email and texts to say hello and give me a discount on something I already bought or no longer need. And my phone is exploding at all hours of the day and night. I’d shut it off or put it on do not disturb but then I’d probably miss an important discount that I think I need. I reckon I’m doomed. I keep hitting unsubscribe, and stop, and please take me off your list – but communication only travels in one direction with those folks. Which kinda brings me to my next situation: Just about every morning I wake up to three women arguing. And I’m pretty much to blame. You see, a couple of months ago, our youngest daughter was laying in our bed doing homework and spilled her water on my bedside alarm clock. The digital numbers decided to not represent their actual selves and the time element of my clock wasn’t what it was supposed to be. I got on Amazon and ordered a new one. Just wanted one with large numbers and a cord to charge my phone as I use my phone’s alarm clock. I just find it easier. Then my wife liked my new clock and wanted a matching one. So, I ordered her one as well, not thinking that I wasn’t using the alarm setting, and didn’t really bother to figure it out, as I’m getting to that age where I’m trying to keep important things in my head, and I already have an alarm on my phone. Her former clock had a cool feature where you could hit the snooze button and for each tap you got 10 minutes. She’d hit the snooze for 10, 20, 30 minutes or more, depending on the day and her start time at her salon. Well, the new gadget didn’t have that. Much to my chagrin. And she doesn’t like to use her phone as an alarm clock but remembered that our #1 daughter had given us, and set up, an Alexa in the bedroom to turn off the lights and do other things. I mainly ask her silly questions and ask her to play the blues. Alexa can get surly though. She’s strictly into that “Simon Says” type of relationship. Anyhow, my wife decides to use Alexa to set an alarm and told her when to wake us up. The first morning, Alexa’s alarm went off and there was the perfect “Alexa, snooze the alarm for 20 minutes.” And it worked. This was a pretty good situation for a day or two. .Then day three or so came and Alexa cock-a-doodle-dooed and my wife told her to snooze but didn’t call out “Alexa” and the alarm kept ringing. Several commands were given – from snooze to set a timer to stop and I don’t know what all. But Alexa kept on blaring. Then for some reason, my wife said, “Siri, set a timer for…” and her phone lady started talking and Alexa kept on keeping on and all three women were shouting and asking questions and not listening to one another! I just laid there trying to not to laugh and trying not to get upset but mostly trying to mind my own business – because you just don’t get up in the business of three women arguing about snooze and timers and such. Eventually, my wife got the last word in and we got to snooze, I think, or it could have been a timer for 20 minutes or so. Then my iPhone chimes in with Boogie Wonderland to wake us all up again about a minute or so before the snooze or timer is about to go off and start the charm of the wake-up argument with three women all over again. It was déjà vu all over again.
