I don’t remember most of it. But it stunk, literally. It was that week before vacation. When you’re trying to wash and find and corral and sort and think through just what to take and what not to take and the take pile keeps growing because the Boy Scout in me never leaves anything at home that we might need and if we don’t have it, we’ll have to buy another one and we already have three, no maybe four of at least that thing.
Then the dog got sick. That thing that was going around where they start eating grass and puking all around the house when you step outside for two minutes to do something. You get that cleaned up and head to the garbage, and when you come back in, she’s now had a bout of diarrhea. But this pile was special. You see, my wife had thrown down a pile of clothes to get washed for vacation. I think the doggie diarrhea was partially covered. Well, I didn’t see it. But then I wasn’t the one that picked it up and carried it to the basement to the washing machine. No, my lovely wife had on her sandals and was trying to get outside to do something and she, yes, stepped in it. But having on sandals, didn’t feel it and proceeded to traipse downstairs and yes, leaving a doggie diarrhea path of sorts. I was already tired, being up late writing to hit deadlines and other work. I pointed it out to her and then I started cleaning it up. First her shoes. Then rinsed dog poop off the laundry and then started washing each carpeted step to the basement and then the original piles.
She was kind of undone as it had been that kind of week so I just dug into it to just get it done. But she asked, how could I not be upset or angry and why was I just cleaning it all up without throwing my own fit. I could have said something all spiritual like the Holy Spirit had filled me up and Jesus was smiling through me and God was leading through a time of hardship and dog poop. Some of that may be true, but I just smiled and reminded her that when I was a kid, my dog had diarrhea on my head in the middle of the night in my bed. That’s a story for the ages that’s been on these pages and is out there on the Internet for all to find. So, after going through that, cleaning up after her walking through it was literally a walk in the park. Been there, done that but don’t need a t-shirt to remind me.
But then, the dog was still sick. I was up every couple of hours taking her to poop. And I remembered something. Skunks are nocturnal. Yep. I may live in a condo in a city but there’s plenty of wildlife to be found and encountered and when I let the leash out a little too much and Cheerio bounded around the corner of the brick wall and started barking, I was really hoping it was a feral cat or possibly a raccoon or possum. Those are all fun to mess with. But nope. It was a baby skunk and before I could, oh wait. For some strange reason, I had also decided to go outside without shoes on and we have this sidewalk that has gravel in it for some reason and it’s not something you walk fast on. Ever.
So back to the skunk, by the time I pulled the leash back and saw the baby skunk it was too late.
But from that earlier diarrhea episode in my youth, I swear it burned out my sense of smell. Doctors have told me I was born this way and I just can’t smell anything. I didn’t know if the baby skunk had sprayed or not. But then as I was pulling the dog away, the skunk decided to try and follow us and here I am barefoot on this unwalkable concrete sidewalk and I’m not moving very fast but somehow got away and the skunk decided to go the other. I got back toward the house and inside and back up to the bedroom and my wife perked up.
“I smell a skunk!”
Yep, that little devil had sprayed the dog so then it was back to the basement down the nicely scoured steps. I started washing her in the laundry sink and my wife showed up with a recipe of Dawn soap, baking soda and hydrogen peroxide.
I kept washing and washing not knowing if I’m getting something done or doing one of those exercises in futility. I washed and dried the dog and went back up.
The smell had dissipated but I had probably embedded some on the first trip back. Somehow, we all got an hour or so of sleep and got up and went back to work.
Now the family is on vacation and I’ll join them for a few days as my work schedule is too wacky for the full trip this year. It was one of those weeks. Watch out for baby skunks and make sure you have that recipe on hand just in case.
