If your list isn’t complete, bless your heart. And yes, full disclosure, I’ll be out shopping on Saturday trying to fill in the holes and find that unique gift hidden in some store that is sure to be perfect…hopefully. But probably not.
With the best intentions each Christmas season, the outdoor lights and tree should be up the Friday after Thanksgiving and oh, yeah. I still need to order the prime rib for Christmas Dinner. Ok, done. Whew! I’m at that age if I don’t write it down it won’t get done and the things I’m supposed to remember at the grocery store go into some black hole with all the algebra and Spanish I tried to learn way back when. Oh, heck, who am I kidding. That black hole encompasses pretty much everything from ninth grade on unless it’s got a really good reminder tied to it.
Anyway, I had a plan to get the lights up but then it was an early Thanksgiving and I don’t like to hear any Christmas music or put up lights till the very end of November and usually December 1. But November had another seven days after Thanksgiving and that threw my timing off. Well then, December rolled around and the Delta Crud jumped on me as well as pushed up deadlines for all my publications that I never say “no” to and well, 3:00 a.m. hitting the hay became the norm and walking around like a zombie as well. Let’s see, oh, yeah, it was Saturday the 16th when I got the outdoor lights up. Now, I’m no Clark Griswold but I do plenty in a tiny space with fake garland and those 50 and 100 string of lights. And the door wreaths got put up with fresh batteries, so there’s that. Oh, yeah, and the Delta Crud is still hanging on and slowing me down and making it hard to interview folks and get a good night’s sleep. I may enter 2024 with the least amount of sleep in quite some time. But hey, I’ve still got hope for Saturday and now I have to pick up the prime rib and find some Au Jus packets somewhere.
I may have to trod into Walmart and face a checkout line that resembles a Soviet Union bread and toilet paper line. But hey, Merry Christmas to me anyway and I really should write stuff down. Some folks will tell me to use a list on my phone but then autocorrect has a blast with my typing and Siri gets all perplexed with my southern phrasing lists and we all get more confused than when I try to read my own handwriting and am sending photos of the list to my wife to try and decipher what I wrote to myself. Been there done that and would have a t-shirt if I had written down to order one but I didn’t.
Anyway, last second gifts. I tried to Google some things and one was a Bril thing that you put your toothbrush in and the UV rays it emits kills the germs on my toothbrush. How bout that?
And it only costs $30 bucks plus shipping and handling but then I’d have to get four for the family and that’d be $120 plus shipping and handling. So, I ask Google how much toothbrushes were at Walmart. I can get a pack of four for $4.50. I figure if you just throw out your toothbrush every so often, you won’t need that Bril thing and do I really want to read all the fine print in that advertorial to know the scary things hiding in my toothbrush?
My conclusion is a firm “no.” I’ll go get everybody a pack of toothbrushes but wait. My wife got us all electric toothbrushes last year.
Well, that was a waste of time and how could I forget that handy dandy thing with a timer and three settings? Guess I’m back at square one. Heading out to the mall to search high and low for something unique…wish me luck. I have a feeling I might need some.
Hope your shopping is done and don’t forget the Au Jus packets. Wait, I should write that down.
Merry Christmas and Happy Jesus’ Birthday, everybody!
