Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him. – Luke 17:3-4
The Apostle Paul was a massive sinner who was saved by grace. This fierce sinner’s sins were forgiven. Because of Christ’s atoning sacrifice and the Holy Spirit's effectual calling, Paul knew forgiveness.
I came across some useful thoughts about forgiveness from Ken Sande (author of The Peacemaker): “To receive this forgiveness and freedom, we must acknowledge our sin, repent of it, and put our trust in Jesus Christ (see Acts 3:19; Psalm 32:5). This the good news of the Gospel – forgiveness and eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
What would forgiveness from God mean without faith and repentance? Clearly, God forgives in the context of Christ’s sacrifice. God gives us faith in Christ that we may repent and believe. Forgiveness and faith and repentance all go together.
John R.W. Stott expanded on this topic: “We are to rebuke a brother if he sins against us; we are to forgive him if he repents — and only if he repents. We must beware of cheapening forgiveness. If a brother who has sinned against us refuses to repent, we should not forgive him. Does this startle you? It is what Jesus taught… ‘Forgiveness’ includes restoration to fellowship. If we can restore to full and intimate fellowship with ourselves a sinning and unrepentant brother, we reveal not the depth of our love but its shallowness.”
What would forgiveness from God mean without Jesus’s shed blood? Ken Sande notes that when the offender has not yet repented, there is a two-stage process: 1. Forbearance – Having an attitude of forgiveness (Luke 23:34 “And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’”) 2. Forgiveness – Granting forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32 “forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you”). “Granting forgiveness is conditional on the repentance of the offender and takes place between you and that person (Luke 17:3-4).”
“It can be difficult to forgive a person who has failed to repent and confess clearly and specifically. When you find yourself in this situation, it may be wise to explain to the person who wronged you why you are having a difficult time forgiving. Reconciliation requires that you give a repentant person an opportunity to demonstrate repentance and regain your trust.”
Maybe you are wondering, “Hold on, isn’t forgiving always the Christian thing to do?” If by “Christian”, you mean being Christ-like, then no. Jesus makes it clear, “if he repents, forgive him.” In other words, Jesus places a clear condition on forgiveness: repentance. Perhaps, you might complain, “But every sermon I hear says that Christians must forgive as Christ forgives us.” Yes, indeed, and I ask, “Did Christ pay the penalty of those who never repent and believe?” Said differently, has God automatically forgiven every single person on the planet, or does He call all to repent and believe and then forgive those who have faith in His Son?
Do you subscribe to the Golden Rule, given by Jesus, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? If so, don’t you want others to forgive you when you repent? And don’t you want others to tell you when you have caused hurt and thereby encourage you to repent and seek their forgiveness? Any more or any less is not Christ-like. After all, the Bible is chock full of encouragement for you to see your wrongs alongside God’s loving call to repentance and faith in His Son. May these biblical thoughts help you grant and seek forgiveness to/from others.