This is Part 2 in a series Making Marriage Work
Making marriage work: Area pastor and wife share tips
"Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell ya, brother; you can't have one without the other." www.azlyrics.com
This song accompanied the Married with Children (TV series 1987-1997) series. The sitcom's themes are comical scripts about the couple’s parenting styles and love for each other and their family.
Some may agree that love is essential and must be protected and maintained.
Pastor Lamar and Vanessa Moore of Lily Of The Valley Church of God in Christ, Doddsville, who have been married for 39 years, share what it takes to keep a marriage together.
Here, the couple reveals a few tips that keep them together.
Love is the center.
Vanessa opened the conversation without reservation, stating, "Love is the center of marriage; never lose it. It's the glue – it holds us together," exclaimed Vanessa.
Open communication
Next to love, the couple agreed that open communication is the second most important.
"Always have a line of communication; keep it open," shared Vanessa. "When there is a problem in the home, and there is an open line of communication, it is easier to discuss and resolve conflicts when they arise."
Pastor Moore commented, "Communication sustains the relationship and keeps the marriage alive."
Listen to one another with an open mind
Take time to listen to each other. Each person has to learn how to communicate with each other. Remember to listen and talk to each other; it goes a long way.
Pastor Moore admitted that men sometimes don’t listen to women.
"When I am tired and aggravated, and my mind is on something else, Vanessa knows I am not listening. I am responsible for letting her know I am tired and ask if we can talk later," explained Pastor Moore.
Be submissive
"Another tip is to be submissive. If I admit that the man is the head, I need to allow my husband to walk in his role, and I need to walk in my role – not that I don't have a voice – but we both need to line up with what God has told us to do," added Vanessa.
Date nights
"Always maintain date nights. These nights allow me to get away from others – to laugh and have fun. Date nights strengthen our relationship and give us a sense of togetherness," shared Vanessa.
Pastor Moore stated, "I look forward to time alone with my wife. We go to different places to eat and shop together. We buy things for each other. Date night gives us more to talk about and some uninterrupted communication time."
"Keep intimacy in the marriage. If intimacy is not there, you may find yourself drifting apart. The little things you used to do often disappear and may lead to disconnection," shared Vanessa.
Prioritize your
marriage.
People put many things ahead of their marriage and family. Marriage is work. It needs love, communication, and much consideration for the other person.
Encouraging one another is another tip. Saying kind words, sharing your time, and doing nice things for one another help strengthen the marriage.
Pray together.
"We encourage each other when we pray together. Prayer makes things a lot easier. We get to hear each other's desires. When I know that my spouse is happy, it is encouraging," explained Pastor Moore. "I like to hear my wife say she is cooking something special for me.”
Have respect for one another
"Marriage will flop if respect is not there. Respect each other's finances, career choices, and salary. Disrespect breeds anger and bitterness. If there is a problem with disrespect, deal with it through the Word of God," expounds Pastor Moore.
Respect each other's background and
education
"Don't allow each other’s limitations or unmet expectations to cause you to be disrespectful. Accept the person you married for who they are and what they have," warned Lamar. "Pray and ask God to help your partner get to the next level if it's His will. It's not all about the perfect job, status, and salary but his respect for himself," shared Pastor Moore.
As Valentine's Day approaches, The E-T will feature advice and tips from married couples.
Send names and contact information of married couples who want to share their stories with others.
Contact Diana Washington at The E-T: phone 662-887-2222; fax 662-887-2999; address 114 Main Street/P.O. Box 650, Indianola, MS 38751.
