YOU ASKED:
Is it safe to assume a narcissist treats everyone the same in a relationship? Would my narcissistic ex eventually treat his new girlfriend better than he treated me?
WE ANSWERED:
It’s a very common question: “Will my narcissistic ex treat the new girlfriend better than he treated me?” The short answer is no, not in any lasting way.
Narcissists don’t truly change how they relate to people, they change the packaging. At the start of a new relationship, they often turn on the charm. It’s called love-bombing: flowers, attention, promises of forever. To an outsider, It may look like your ex suddenly became Prince Charming. But underneath, the same patterns remain: control, manipulation, blame-shifting, lack of empathy.
The truth is, narcissistic abuse follows a cycle: idealize → devalue → discard. You lived through it, and the new partner eventually will too. You may only see the highlight reel right now, but behind closed doors, the same dynamics will surface.
Here’s what’s important: you’re free. You’ve stepped off the cycle. The question isn’t whether he’ll treat her “better” than he treated you—it’s whether you’ll keep healing so that you never settle for less than respect, love, and mutual care again.
So no, don’t assume he’s treating her better. Assume he’s doing what narcissists do: running the same script with a different cast member. And thank God—you’re no longer playing that role.
NEXT WEEK: My husband’s ex expressed to him that she has a problem with me posting “her” children on social media and referring to them as my children. I treat them as I would if I had biological children and my husband and I don’t like using the term “step” anything. We include the children in most of our travel plans, so we take lots of pictures together. How should I handle this information that my husband’s ex insisted he passes on to me?
