YOU ASKED:
My husband’s ex expressed to him that she has a problem with me posting “her” children on social media and referring to them as my children. I treat them as I would if I had biological children and my husband and I don’t like using the term “step” anything. We include the children in most of our travel plans, so we take lots of pictures together. How should I handle this information that my husband’s ex insisted he passes on to me?
WE ANSWERED:
Blended Families & Boundaries
Blended families can be a beautiful thing, but they also come with boundaries that must be respected. You love your husband’s children as your own, and that’s a blessing in their lives. But their mother still has a voice, and if she’s uncomfortable with you posting pictures or calling them “your” children online, it’s important to take her feelings seriously.
Speaking from experience, I certainly cherish my family.
Fortunately, my bonus sons were already older when I married their father, one graduating high school and the other a junior in college, while my biological son was the youngest in our blended marriage. Entering my second marriage as a mature adult, I cared deeply about the well-being of my bonus sons’ mother and respected her. Most importantly, I cherished the peace in my home. To maintain that peace, I considered everyone involved and made decisions accordingly.
Healthy relationships aren’t about winning battles; they’re about modeling respect. Keep snapping those family photos but maybe save the sharing for your home albums instead of social media. That small act of consideration can prevent unnecessary conflict and protect the children from being caught in the middle.
Remember: love doesn’t need a Facebook post to prove itself. The hugs, the vacations, the everyday moments you share with those kids are what matter most. Sometimes the healthiest way to show your place in their lives is by letting their mother feel secure in hers.
To all the stepmoms and bonus moms reading this: know that your love matters, your role matters, and you can make a lifelong difference by leading with both heart and peace.
NEXT WEEK: In a relationship, is it ok to have friends of the opposite sex? If so, why or why not and what’s the expectations?
