YOU ASKED:
In a relationship, is it ok to have friends of the opposite sex? If so, why or why not and what’s the expectations?
WE ANSWERED:
The short answer is yes, but with healthy boundaries. Friendships, regardless of gender, are natural and valuable. They enrich our lives, bring perspective, and sometimes offer support that even our partners can’t. The question isn’t whether it’s okay, but how those friendships are navigated within the context of a relationship.
Why it can be okay:
Opposite-sex friendships can bring balance and insight. Men and women often think differently, and a trusted friend can provide perspective that sharpens decision-making.
It allows individuals to maintain their own identities and connections beyond romantic relationships. Healthy couples don’t isolate each other, they encourage whole, well-rounded lives.
A partner who is secure and trusting recognizes that love and loyalty are demonstrated through daily actions, not limited by outside friendships.
Expectations and boundaries matter:
Transparency: Hiding a friendship from your partner is a red flag. Honesty about who you spend time with creates trust.
Respect: If a friend crosses lines such as engaging in flirtation, undermining your relationship, or competing with your partner that friendship becomes unhealthy.
Prioritization: Your partner should never feel like they’re in competition with your friend. The romantic relationship must remain the priority.
Inclusion: When appropriate, invite your partner to meet and get to know your friends. Inclusion builds comfort and eliminates suspicion.
In the end, friendships of the opposite sex are not the enemy of a relationship. Secrecy, disrespect, and lack of boundaries are. If both people commit to openness, respect, and prioritizing each other, opposite-sex friendships can exist without being a threat.
Takeaway: Trust is the currency of every healthy relationship. Where trust exists, friendships can thrive. Where insecurity, secrecy, or boundary-crossing occurs, even same-sex friendships can become an issue.
NEXT WEEK: Just walked away from my home and a 26-year narcissistic marriage, and I am falling apart. How did you feel?
