YOU ASKED: How do you help a friend or family member who is experiencing abuse?
WE RESPONDED:
Helping a friend or family member experiencing domestic violence requires compassion, patience, and careful action. Primarily, it’s important to listen without judgment. Survivors often feel isolated, ashamed, or fearful, and knowing someone believes and supports them can make a significant difference. Create a safe, private space for them to talk, and avoid pushing them to leave the relationship immediately, as leaving can sometimes escalate the danger.
Offer emotional support by affirming that the abuse is not their fault and that they deserve to be safe and respected. Let them lead the conversation and make their own decisions. Empowering them, rather than making choices for them, helps rebuild their sense of control, which is often stripped away by abuse.
Help them develop a safety plan. This can include identifying safe places to go, memorizing important phone numbers, and having a packed bag ready if they need to leave quickly. Encourage them to document instances of abuse when it’s safe to do so, which can be useful if they choose to seek legal protection later.
Connect them with professional resources, such as domestic violence hotlines, shelters, counselors, and legal aid organizations. These services have trained professionals who can provide critical support, guidance, and protection. Offer to help them find information or go with them to appointments if they want support.
It’s also crucial to prioritize your own safety and well-being. Intervening directly with the abuser can be dangerous. Instead, focus on supporting your loved one and helping them access professional help.
Remember, leaving an abusive relationship is often a long and complicated process. It’s important to be patient and consistent. Even if they return to the abuser multiple times, continue to offer support without judgment. They need to know that they have someone they can trust whenever they are ready to seek help.
Above all, remind them that they are not alone and that help is available. Your steady presence, combined with professional support, can make a vital difference in their journey toward safety and healing.
NEXT WEEK: What effects does domestic violence have on children who see abuse in their home?
