YOU ASKED: What do you call it when you’re not suicidal, but just don’t wanna be here anymore?
WE ANSWERED: As a DV advocate and healthy relationships columnist, I hear what you’re really saying, and it matters. What you’re describing is something a lot of people quietly carry, even if they don’t have language for it. It’s often called passive death wishes or passive suicidal ideation, which is that space where you’re not actively planning to harm yourself, but you feel so overwhelmed or exhausted that the idea of not being here feels like relief. And let me say this clearly, that feeling isn’t about you wanting to die, it’s about you wanting the pain to stop.
Now, I’ll be honest, I actually had to research the clinical language for this. While I’ve worked closely with individuals who have experienced suicidal thoughts as a result of domestic violence and unhealthy relationships, I’ve personally never experienced those thoughts myself. My faith has always anchored me in the belief that joy comes in the morning. But hear me, I can absolutely understand how someone could get there.
When you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship, it can wear you down slowly. Your identity, your peace, your sense of hope all gets chipped away. And when someone is living in that kind of emotional or psychological weight, it’s not hard to see how the mind starts searching for any form of escape. That doesn’t make someone weak. That makes them human and overwhelmed.
As someone who loathes unhealthy love and fights for people to experience real, whole, healthy relationships, I will always say this: You don’t need to disappear; you need relief, support, and restoration. And you deserve that.
If you’re feeling this way, please don’t sit in silence with it. Talk to someone you trust. Reach out. Let someone step into that space with you. And if the weight ever feels too heavy, you can call or text 988 for the National Suicide Hotline. There are people there who will meet you with compassion, not judgment. You’re not alone in this. And more importantly, you are not without hope.
If anyone would like to chime in on this discussion or ask any questions about domestic violence, abuse, and/or healthy relationship matters, email us @ NoMoreDVorAbuse@ourhousevoices.com. We look forward to your feedback.
If you or someone you love is experiencing abuse in a relationship or needs help now, you’re not alone, and there’s a plan we can build today. Seek support, contact Our House, Inc. at 1-833-279-LOVE; NoMoreDVorAbuse.org; National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or text START to 88788.
NEXT WEEK: Please share and explain the Purple Angels Law and the impact you think it will have on domestic violence regarding repeat domestic violence offenders in Mississippi. From a Fellow Victims’ Advocate
