On a page captioned “Life & Arts” in Thursday’s Wall Street Journal were the profiles of 10 women sharing individual experiences and opinions on forging new paths in middle age. They hailed from the Northeast, the Pacific Northwest, Hawaii, Canada and the Midwest.
No Southerners weighed in. I wish one of us had. The article was prompted by an earlier WSJ article on “The New Rules of Middle Age, Written by Women.” I was encouraged at first when I noticed that “middle age” had stretched out a bit, and people my age had managed to make the cut.
Who knew?
I also thought I had successfully managed to reinvent myself a number of times in the past few decades, but I realize how my ambitions pale beside these ladies.
None of these spectacular women said one word about loving their families or their grandchildren. I thought that was rather odd. All of these spotlighted were chosen from their submitted Facebook responses to the early article, so maybe the person selecting them was not into grand mothering or legacies either — clearly un-Southern all the way around.
The ten included one 69 -year-old who recently set the Guinness World Record for oldest female to bicycle across Canada. Her next project is cycling a peace sign the size of North America. I did not make that up. I am not sure I could bike to the end of my street.
Another at 67, had just completed three half-marathons, climbed Machu Picchu, and snorkeled in the Galápagos. (For anyone who, like me, daydreamed through Geography lessons, both of those are in South America).
Still another had left her respectable Midwestern suburban life as an empty nester, moved to California, taken up piano and ukulele, and now gives ukulele concerts. There was also a 50-year-old from New York City who had taken up the drums in hopes of joining a rock band. Another Californian, age 57, said, a bit irreverently, “Do what makes you happy because there are no rules in life.”
At that point, I choked on my cantaloupe. What terrible advice. I would love to check in with her in a year or so and see how such a plan of pleasing all of her appetites and throwing away the rule book has worked out for her.
However, I totally understand the desire to try something new after several decades of rearing a family and living in a perpetual state of meeting the needs of others— others who so seldom consider your need for just a little affirmation here and there. I just don’t think most of us would want to check out completely.
In 1955, Anne Morrow Lindbergh wrote a classic women’s book, A Gift from the Sea. It has sold three million copies and has been translated into 45 languages. My copy is a 1975 edition, and it is so special to me because she had added an afterword which was not in the earlier edition. The afterword could have been titled, “What I know now that I didn’t know then.”
She reflected on a new season of life as an empty nester as she commented that women have to come to terms with new stages of life and different roles that come with each. She also mentioned the time frame of about every twenty years.
Such a statement makes me think of this: “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.” That is true. But also true is this timeless gem: “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).
I don’t think people in my generation thought too much about seasons of life when we were very young. I wish we had, but it is not too late to prepare our daughters. Seasons are good things because there are new challenges and new experiences to appreciate with each phase of life. Don’t lose yourself in thinking life can only be meaningful if you “do what makes you happy because there are no rules.”
I am very Mississippi. I have traveled a little, but I certainly would not impress you particularly with the places I’ve been or the people I’ve met. So many of my friends have been many more places and can reel off accomplishments much more impressive than mine. But I’ll take my life with all its stuff — happy and unhappy.
I had parents who loved me, a hometown filled with role models who showed me what integrity looked like and lifelong friends who stay in touch all these years past childhood.
I also love being involved in my adult children’s lives without being responsible for their decisions every day!
And then, of course, there are grandchildren. I would not have missed that experience for all the rock star accolades in America!
I seriously doubt you will ever read that I went to Hawaii, took up ukulele and am available for concerts.
I’ll be right here in case anybody wants to know!
