“Give a man homemade biscuits in the morning and he’ll come home to you at night!” Jerry Clower, American comedian
When we as Southerners send our request upward for daily bread, I am almost certain that daily biscuits are what we are truly asking for.
Not biscuits that pop out of a cardboard tube, or live in the frozen food section at the super market, but biscuits that are light as air, hand-patted and made with love.
Mr. Clower told many a story, as only he could do, about his mama’s biscuits and his belief in the condemnation of biscuits that came out of a cardboard tube.
“My mama made biscuits in a big wooden bowl and squashed the lard into the flour with her hands,” he said. “Then she would choke them off onto a pan, big cat-head biscuits, and man, I tell you what, they were fit to eat!” he yells. He finishes his story belting out a snippet from his days of living on Swayze Street in Yazoo City. “Those young, fancy ladies on Swayze Street would be whopping those tubes of dough on the counter, Whop!, Whop!, Whop!. It sounded like a war going on out there!”
Following a biscuit recipe is easy as pie, but there is an art to it that comes with diligence, practice, and patience.
My older sister Prissy has always been the ruler of the rolling pin with her heavenly biscuits and pie crusts. She is a purist by most accounts and she swears by Pioneer Baking Mix.
She brings her dough together in a flash, sprinkles flour like it was fairy dust over her board and rolling pin, and with the lightest touch ever, rolls the dough into submission. Her biscuits truly are biscuits to die for.
One day as she was making her dough submit, she threw the scraps of dough into the trash can after each batch as she normally does.
Only this time the sneaky Labrador was retrieving each scrap from the can as soon as she turned her back. When she had finished making several batches and had cleaned up the kitchen, the sneaky Labrador was on the rug for yet another nap.
“I think I will take a nap as well,” she said to herself. She takes lots of naps too.
The next morning they took the Labrador to the vet because her belly had doubled in size and she looked most unhappy.
The doctor gave her a once over and said “I think she has a tumor, I can feel a large mass in her stomach.”
They zipped the dog off to the x-ray room and they all stared at the picture of the dogs stomach on the wall.
“It does not look like a cancerous tumor, has she eaten anything out of the ordinary in the last few days? he asked. “Not that I know of,” said the husband. “Me either” said the biscuit maker.
Flashes of 8 or 9 batches of biscuits ran through her mind from the previous day. “Umm, she could have gotten ahold of some scraps of biscuit dough yesterday” she sheepishly replied.
“Like how much dough; a cup, a pound, a gallon?” the doctor asked. “Maybe a couple of cups, or three or five, I don’t know! I made about 10 dozen biscuits!
They were for the church!” she snapped.
“Well there you have it,” the doctor said. “The dough is rising and will continue to do so until we get it out of there.
Did you use lard or butter?” he asked.
“Oh I only use Crisco for my biscuits, they make the flakiest biscuits ever, and I use a very light hand when rolling out my dough,” she said as she she grinned with pride. She was as puffed up as the poor dog!
The Labrador was fine after the removal of the biscuit dough and a new trash can with an automatic-closing lid was purchased on the way home.
Biscuit making is not a difficult task but is certainly serious business for many southern cooks.
After all, homemade biscuits are perhaps the most quintessentially southern comfort food. I have had great success with butter and Crisco as both will produce a classic, southern style biscuit as long you handle the dough lightly and with ease, slather it with plenty of butter, and do not feed the dog any scraps!
Recipe for Sister Biscuits
3 cups Pioneer Buttermilk Baking Mix
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup Crisco Shortening
1/2 cup melted butter
Heat oven to 450 degrees. Cut the shortening into the baking mix with a pastry cutter, until the mixture is crumbly. Using a fork, gently blend the buttermilk into the biscuit mixture, just until blended. Turn the dough out on to a floured board. Using a floured rolling pin, gently roll the dough out to a thickness of about 1/2 to 3/4 inches. Cut the dough into rounds with a 2-inch biscuit cutter and place on a lightly oiled baking sheet. Brush with melted butter and place in hot oven for 11-13 minutes.
