I’ve always dreamed of having a column in a newspaper that allowed me to just say whatever is on my mind.
Over the years, I have learned that sort of thing can cause a lot of problems.
The first idea I had came to me while I was working at The Yazoo Herald under my good friend Jason Patterson.
The column was to be called By the Cover.
Basically, I would judge books, movies and music by their respective covers.
Why read, watch or listen when you can just make snap judgments based on the art that was designed to sell it?
The fun part is seeing later on how accurate the review was.
I saw today that ABC is ripping off The Goldberg’s - which ripped off The Wonder Years – with another “looking back on my childhood” show. This one is set in the 1970s instead of the eighties.
If I were brave enough to launch By the Cover, I would surely talk about how derivative and uncreative the whole idea is.
I wouldn’t leave God Friended Me out of the mix either. That looks like it’s good for about six episodes and a swift cancelation.
And that new Paul McCartney album? Sure to be classic.
It’s a good thing Jason panned that idea pretty quickly.
The second one I came up with while working at The Birmingham Business Journal a few years back.
It was called And Another Thing…
Basically, I just pick up in the middle of an unfinished point about something and unleash a “get off my lawn” rant about it.
Every column would start off with “And another thing!”
Neither of these would play well with some of the readers of The Enterprise-Tocsin, but they would probably be popular with the younger millennial crowd.
These days, snap judgments are more of the norm.
Why read the article when you can just scan the headlines?
Why watch the news when you can get 30-second news bites at the gas pump?
Information is given to us at much faster rates these days, and people are very quick to draw conclusions or make up their minds before all of the facts are in.
The two columns above were absurd 10 years ago, but they would probably be a hit if published today.